In case you did not started the story from the very beginning, the first part is Me: Before it Happened
Grade 6
A new school year was the start of the new life. Competition got tougher in academics and extra curricular activities in school. But I was still in my relaxed state of aura where I tried not to mind the threat of going down the rankings and enjoy life to the fullest instead. I can't wait for the next Athletic meet to come. It helped a lot in my personal healing as a confused and broken person.
I tried to be myself more this time. I dressed boyishly but I style my long silk hair with lots of colorful "Sanrio" bands that came in different neon colors. I usually put a lot of it maximizing the spaces until the end. Sometimes I even braid my hair in smaller portions so I can make use of all the colors in the packet. One time I asked my cousin to do a certain style and it looked like a woven basket on my hair. I was so happy that time because people who sees it appreciated it somehow. I was also the first girl to play "Sipa"(a game where we kick a nickel with a tussle on it up in the air over and over. The person who can maintain its control over the thing would be the winner. We count the number of times we kicked the thing up in the air and the person with most counts win.) with the boys. Then one of my peer followed and then some of the girls too. I felt like I was the trendsetter in the class. Sometimes I also see other girls following my hairstyles. I didn't care anyway and kept my carefree vibe in my daily school life.
I was more of a fighter this time. I am a silent person, yes. But then at one point my patience really snapped out. It was the PTA meeting before and all the teachers were in the meeting hall with all the parents so we were left in the classroom just chatting around and doing crazy stuffs and different peer businesses. My peer weren't around that time (I forgot the reason why I was alone that moment) and I was there in the room when suddenly we started teasing each other in the class. I forgot how I got into the commotion but I got into a physical fight with the son of my Grade 3 teacher. we started punching each other. The good thing about him, he did not punched me on my face (just like what my older brother did). I punched him in his deltoid area where I know is the safest place to hit a person for it is muscular and is not protecting an important body organ. He also hit me back, I don't remember where. But in the end I thought that it was so lame so I just turned my back and abandoned him when he suddenly hit me at my back and run away crying. I was so nervous that time that he might tell me to her mom and so I just prepared myself for a confrontation. Then there was this gay classmate of mine who never, ever talked to me before said to me "Putang ina niyang si Elaine ay amasona! Nakikipagsuntukan sa lalaki."(Your a child of a bitch, Elaine; you're an amazon. You're having a fist fight with a boy.) Those words ringed a bell in my ear I automatically flared up and cursed him back. "Putang ina mo din ah! Wala pang taong nagmura sakin kahit kelan." (Your a son of a bitch too. Nobody cursed me like that in my entire life.) He answered back with surprise and blushed, now with a lower tone of voice, "Hala ngay si Elaine ang lutong mo naman pala magmura ngayon lang kita narinig magmura."(Oh my, you curse is crisply delivered. This is the first time I heard you curse.) My heart was puonding that time with anger. I sat down in one corner and trying to calm down the palpitations that I was going through. It wasn't painful but it was very disturbing. I was thinking where have all my pals gone that time? Maybe if they where here I might not end up with a fight, it will be them whose having a fight...LOL Three of my peers are kinda war freak and there are three of us who just sit down and watch and wait if they will be needing a back-up or they can do it by themselves.
The strange feeling slowly went away. I wasn't sad because I got hit by my classmate. I was nervous for a confrontation (which never happened, he did not tell it to his mom). But yeah, I felt happy about having expressed my emotions that moment. I was just used to keeping everything to myself. You will never guess what emotions I have in my heart except from laughing and being apathetic. And when I'm in my apathetic state where you will never guess if I'm angry or not. It's like a mask hiding my true feelings on something or somebody. That day was quite a liberating experience for me. I learned that I can fight like a man for myself when needed. I just wished I do it every now and then (then I would be one of the warfreaks!!!!haha). The feeling was so elating maybe that's why bullies love to bully someone else because of the feeling that they get after. But I can't. I wasn't brought up that way by my mom. She always emphasized good behavior especially in public places so the guilt still kicks in me. Kindness and understanding other's shortcomings are also one of the values my mom taught me so really, my patience goes a long way. My mom would always say that it doesn't matter if other people step on you, crush you; as long as you are not the one who offended somebody else, you will be blessed with good Karma. Now I am still living with my mom's maxim.
**To be continued....
Grade 6
A new school year was the start of the new life. Competition got tougher in academics and extra curricular activities in school. But I was still in my relaxed state of aura where I tried not to mind the threat of going down the rankings and enjoy life to the fullest instead. I can't wait for the next Athletic meet to come. It helped a lot in my personal healing as a confused and broken person.
I tried to be myself more this time. I dressed boyishly but I style my long silk hair with lots of colorful "Sanrio" bands that came in different neon colors. I usually put a lot of it maximizing the spaces until the end. Sometimes I even braid my hair in smaller portions so I can make use of all the colors in the packet. One time I asked my cousin to do a certain style and it looked like a woven basket on my hair. I was so happy that time because people who sees it appreciated it somehow. I was also the first girl to play "Sipa"(a game where we kick a nickel with a tussle on it up in the air over and over. The person who can maintain its control over the thing would be the winner. We count the number of times we kicked the thing up in the air and the person with most counts win.) with the boys. Then one of my peer followed and then some of the girls too. I felt like I was the trendsetter in the class. Sometimes I also see other girls following my hairstyles. I didn't care anyway and kept my carefree vibe in my daily school life.
I was more of a fighter this time. I am a silent person, yes. But then at one point my patience really snapped out. It was the PTA meeting before and all the teachers were in the meeting hall with all the parents so we were left in the classroom just chatting around and doing crazy stuffs and different peer businesses. My peer weren't around that time (I forgot the reason why I was alone that moment) and I was there in the room when suddenly we started teasing each other in the class. I forgot how I got into the commotion but I got into a physical fight with the son of my Grade 3 teacher. we started punching each other. The good thing about him, he did not punched me on my face (just like what my older brother did). I punched him in his deltoid area where I know is the safest place to hit a person for it is muscular and is not protecting an important body organ. He also hit me back, I don't remember where. But in the end I thought that it was so lame so I just turned my back and abandoned him when he suddenly hit me at my back and run away crying. I was so nervous that time that he might tell me to her mom and so I just prepared myself for a confrontation. Then there was this gay classmate of mine who never, ever talked to me before said to me "Putang ina niyang si Elaine ay amasona! Nakikipagsuntukan sa lalaki."(Your a child of a bitch, Elaine; you're an amazon. You're having a fist fight with a boy.) Those words ringed a bell in my ear I automatically flared up and cursed him back. "Putang ina mo din ah! Wala pang taong nagmura sakin kahit kelan." (Your a son of a bitch too. Nobody cursed me like that in my entire life.) He answered back with surprise and blushed, now with a lower tone of voice, "Hala ngay si Elaine ang lutong mo naman pala magmura ngayon lang kita narinig magmura."(Oh my, you curse is crisply delivered. This is the first time I heard you curse.) My heart was puonding that time with anger. I sat down in one corner and trying to calm down the palpitations that I was going through. It wasn't painful but it was very disturbing. I was thinking where have all my pals gone that time? Maybe if they where here I might not end up with a fight, it will be them whose having a fight...LOL Three of my peers are kinda war freak and there are three of us who just sit down and watch and wait if they will be needing a back-up or they can do it by themselves.
The strange feeling slowly went away. I wasn't sad because I got hit by my classmate. I was nervous for a confrontation (which never happened, he did not tell it to his mom). But yeah, I felt happy about having expressed my emotions that moment. I was just used to keeping everything to myself. You will never guess what emotions I have in my heart except from laughing and being apathetic. And when I'm in my apathetic state where you will never guess if I'm angry or not. It's like a mask hiding my true feelings on something or somebody. That day was quite a liberating experience for me. I learned that I can fight like a man for myself when needed. I just wished I do it every now and then (then I would be one of the warfreaks!!!!haha). The feeling was so elating maybe that's why bullies love to bully someone else because of the feeling that they get after. But I can't. I wasn't brought up that way by my mom. She always emphasized good behavior especially in public places so the guilt still kicks in me. Kindness and understanding other's shortcomings are also one of the values my mom taught me so really, my patience goes a long way. My mom would always say that it doesn't matter if other people step on you, crush you; as long as you are not the one who offended somebody else, you will be blessed with good Karma. Now I am still living with my mom's maxim.
**To be continued....
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