Sunshine...After the Rain

The Provincial meet ended gloriously as I felt an spark of hope and passion back within me. (If you are feeling lost about the story please read Behind the Clouds). Not the same as before that I viewed everything in my life as positive, that everybody is good (except my evil older brother...LOL but yes I believe that he is good, that there is something good in him that's why when we were young I tried to cover and defend him when he was bullied by our neighbor pals). I became extra cautious and a little bit paranoid over what is happening around me. Well back to the feel-good moment, I was so elated that time, that I felt very good about myself. Feels like I'm floating in the air, so proud that a newbie like me would win a place in the Provincial meet. Feels like I know one more time what I wanted in life. The time being away with my family gave me a space to breath and begin rebuilding myself again. I started forgiving the offender and letting go of self-remorse that I felt, for not doing the right thing. Actually, I really did not know what the right thing is. It remained a mystery to me until now, if what will happen if I told my mom about it. Knowing my mom, she has the military attitude. Her way of disciplining is based on a mistake=punishment formula. I mean it. Corporal punishment to be exact. LOL. That moment, I learned that no matter how thick or thin you slice cheese, it will always come in two sides. In life there are always 2 choices, a "Yes or No", whether you choose to give in or to remain hard, to be or not to be, or sometimes the alibi behind the "there is no choice" tag line. The truth is there is a choice. Whether you chose to do the last choice you have, or not.

I came back to our school full of life. Fresh and vivid. So warm and vibrant just like the sunshine. I was welcomed by my seatmate and the adventure started again. The arrogance that we had which is limited only to each other because in real life, we are really down to earth individuals. My bestfriend "twin" was so proud of me and she never fails to send me a simple note for each event that we had. She's so thoughtful in her own little ways that it is so touching and heartwarming. I really appreciate her messages, and advise. She really comforted me through my dark times and she was the one whom I confide everything to. In short, she has the key. We may not be seatmates in the class (because the teachers would always keep us apart to each other as the top students in the class) but we are always together every breaktime, giving us each other a time to update what is the latest happening in our life. I missed her very much since I did not went to class for more than a month because of the training so we had a lot of catching up to do. It's really good to know that despite of all the odd things that I'm going through, I always have someone on my back, who is at the same time always by my side when needed the most. Everything felt so new even though there's nothing really new in our school. I am seeing life in a different perspective this time. And this time, boys are excluded to my foci.

**To be continued...