So I got used to wearing boy's clothes, used boy's stuffs as I mentioned in Me: Before it Happened. I even wanted to compete this time with my brother who always teases me, the way I look and so in revenge I am trying to get the things that he wanted especially on toys and clothes (I try to save my money to buy them and alas my brother who doesn't know how to save has nothing) so that my brother would stare with envy at me. The next thing I know is he already sneaked my stuffs and end up reporting to my mom what he did. The best part of the revenge is, my brother will surely have a whack from my mom who practices corporal punishment for disciplining us. (I know guys I am so bad...too passive but fruitful revenge I have...I am so sorry now with that I'm such a b*tch then). The funny thing about me and my brother is we share almost all of the stuffs except our underwear (of course he couldn't sneak it out LOL) but hey when I was in my highschool days I tried to buy brief style panties for myself. Maybe it just became a habit for me, or a form of amusement for me to see my older brother with envy.
Grade 3
From Baguio City (where we are all born, and hey I have a baby brother now) we transferred to the province and stay there for good so we could minimize our cost of living. Everything in the city is so expensive and we are 3 siblings now in the family so my mother is trying to adjust for us to cope up with our expenses. So I began going to a public school. It was like a culture shock for me who was used to studying to an exclusive school in the city. It felt to me like they were not taking their studies seriously. The lessons were far too easy for me even I don't study I will have a 95-100% grade in the exams. (Believe it or not, you can too. LOL) And so being a transferee in the class brought much of the attention to me especially the boys in the room. They would label me as "Yung parang Amerikana" (The girl that looks like an American) because of my light complexion when I was new there. They nominated me as the muse of the class and so my femininity came back slowly. My interest to dolls and skirts and dresses has been restored and I forgot about my past self. I also learned about crushes here and I became conscious about my own hygiene and learned to take care of myself without my mom's help.I felt like an independent woman for my mom is so busy with the restaurant she is managing now which is our main source of living. My mom spent her 24 hours in the store so I sleep with my baby brother alone at night without my mom by my side like when we used to when we are in Baguio City. Sometimes how I wish we are still in the city together in our small rented apartment. Our 24-hour restaurant became the center of her universe.
From Baguio City (where we are all born, and hey I have a baby brother now) we transferred to the province and stay there for good so we could minimize our cost of living. Everything in the city is so expensive and we are 3 siblings now in the family so my mother is trying to adjust for us to cope up with our expenses. So I began going to a public school. It was like a culture shock for me who was used to studying to an exclusive school in the city. It felt to me like they were not taking their studies seriously. The lessons were far too easy for me even I don't study I will have a 95-100% grade in the exams. (Believe it or not, you can too. LOL) And so being a transferee in the class brought much of the attention to me especially the boys in the room. They would label me as "Yung parang Amerikana" (The girl that looks like an American) because of my light complexion when I was new there. They nominated me as the muse of the class and so my femininity came back slowly. My interest to dolls and skirts and dresses has been restored and I forgot about my past self. I also learned about crushes here and I became conscious about my own hygiene and learned to take care of myself without my mom's help.I felt like an independent woman for my mom is so busy with the restaurant she is managing now which is our main source of living. My mom spent her 24 hours in the store so I sleep with my baby brother alone at night without my mom by my side like when we used to when we are in Baguio City. Sometimes how I wish we are still in the city together in our small rented apartment. Our 24-hour restaurant became the center of her universe.
Grade 4
The culture shock faded as I have learned to adapt with the people around me. I can say this grade was the worst for me because our teacher was the secretary of the principal and she is not in the classroom almost all of the time. She would just leave a book and let the class secretary write it on the board while she is away. So while the class secretary is writing, everyone else has their own business to tackle. I was near the group of girly girls playing paper dolls and I became the dress designer for their dolls. (Because I am good with drawing and designing and I have great ideas and innovations introduced to their usual way of doing things) If only the paper money that they paid me were real money I would be rich. Boys play with their rubberbands and marbles, some goes for early recess, others would roam around until they reach the nearby rivers. And when it is exams time, I remember our teacher would let us copy the answers for the exams and let us memorize the correct letter of the answer because it was just a multiple choice questions. Damn it think cheating started in that class especially the hidden code in the palms or tables when it is exams time. Me, I took the longest way to pass an exam, and that was reading the question and the choices until the end. So what do you expect, everybody would pass. Of course I also passed but sometimes it wasn't 100% because I did not memorized the correct answers. I think in this grade I started to get tough again because I was pissed off with the girly girls who just order barbie clothes from me but they don't really include me in their play. I started little by little to go out with the boys, play text cards, tops and marbles. Running around the schoolgrounds. It felt so good to be me again. From then on, my jeans every Friday was back in style again and the skirts and dresses went to the bottom most layer of my clothes again. By the way, in this grade, I remember having a crush on a lovely lady named Anna Karenina. Such an odd but beautiful name for a beautiful face like her. I admire her long straight hair, smiling eyes and dimples too. In one instance I tried to stalk her in the fiesta where she was training a bunch of candidates for Ms. Santa Fe. Every practice I was there in the gymnasium watching her gracefully move in the crowd. I even followed her in a multitude of people in the fair and even rode a Ferris wheel the moment I saw her ride it. I forgot about my fears and it was too late for me to realize the freakish heights I am faced to. Still at the end of they day I would conclude to myself, oh she's so cute I admire her very much. That's it! Plain admiration. But still I felt something strange to myself. It's like something is not normal just like the girly girls would do. It's something different I can't explain or I am still in denial to.
***Next part to be continued...
The culture shock faded as I have learned to adapt with the people around me. I can say this grade was the worst for me because our teacher was the secretary of the principal and she is not in the classroom almost all of the time. She would just leave a book and let the class secretary write it on the board while she is away. So while the class secretary is writing, everyone else has their own business to tackle. I was near the group of girly girls playing paper dolls and I became the dress designer for their dolls. (Because I am good with drawing and designing and I have great ideas and innovations introduced to their usual way of doing things) If only the paper money that they paid me were real money I would be rich. Boys play with their rubberbands and marbles, some goes for early recess, others would roam around until they reach the nearby rivers. And when it is exams time, I remember our teacher would let us copy the answers for the exams and let us memorize the correct letter of the answer because it was just a multiple choice questions. Damn it think cheating started in that class especially the hidden code in the palms or tables when it is exams time. Me, I took the longest way to pass an exam, and that was reading the question and the choices until the end. So what do you expect, everybody would pass. Of course I also passed but sometimes it wasn't 100% because I did not memorized the correct answers. I think in this grade I started to get tough again because I was pissed off with the girly girls who just order barbie clothes from me but they don't really include me in their play. I started little by little to go out with the boys, play text cards, tops and marbles. Running around the schoolgrounds. It felt so good to be me again. From then on, my jeans every Friday was back in style again and the skirts and dresses went to the bottom most layer of my clothes again. By the way, in this grade, I remember having a crush on a lovely lady named Anna Karenina. Such an odd but beautiful name for a beautiful face like her. I admire her long straight hair, smiling eyes and dimples too. In one instance I tried to stalk her in the fiesta where she was training a bunch of candidates for Ms. Santa Fe. Every practice I was there in the gymnasium watching her gracefully move in the crowd. I even followed her in a multitude of people in the fair and even rode a Ferris wheel the moment I saw her ride it. I forgot about my fears and it was too late for me to realize the freakish heights I am faced to. Still at the end of they day I would conclude to myself, oh she's so cute I admire her very much. That's it! Plain admiration. But still I felt something strange to myself. It's like something is not normal just like the girly girls would do. It's something different I can't explain or I am still in denial to.
***Next part to be continued...
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