Introversion vs. Extroversion (Part 1)

At this point in time I was trying to earn friends. The bestfriend years has started, puberty is at its onset and so many things are bothering my thoughts and feelings which I blame to the changes of hormones I have in my body.

Grade 5
I was starting to go out and face the world. The culture shock I had from being a city girl to a rural girl is gone. I am mingling quite well with my classmates. I've got a new bestfriend which is a transferee too (the new apple of the eye in the class) which my classmates says that we are like twins together. I experienced in this stage to cling too much on my newfound instant bestfriend and get jealous when someone else is trying to "steal her" from me at recess time. I also learned of letting go of her because I learned that I don't own her and that the right thing to do is just to express to her even non-verbally that I am always here for her. (I really don't say how I feel verbally, I show it through my actions or send a note/letter).

I also had this boy seatmate whom I've learned most of the funny and wacky stuffs I could possibly imagine. We teased each other to the extreme until our teacher would call our attention and let us stand for the remaining period of the lecture as a punishment. There also came a point that one subject teacher put him in front seat while I was left at the hindmost of the seating arrangement in class for an attempt to separate us. But we still ended up sitting together in the class and our unstoppable mischief continues. I forgot about Ms. Ana Karenina (from Something Different ) for I was pre-occupied with the fun and adventures of this intermediate year I am experiencing. I felt quite invincible and I occasionally had a discreet war with the mean girls in class. I was in the verge of extroversion, of introducing myself to the world when one event happened to me and in one click, everything was succumbed by darkness.

I could have been the extrovert friendly person who trusts the world and every creature in the universe. I could have been the person I wanted to be. I could have been the confident gal walking down the street, carefree and full of life. I could have been loved myself better, given myself the self esteem it deserved. But I just went back to my own shell trying to go to the state of hibernation. Or maybe if it is possible, I could have had a selective amnesia to forget that ugly incident of my life.



***Next part to be continued...